How we speak to ourselves and others has a significant impact on our life outcomes. Whether it’s our personal or professional life that we’re talking about, the language we use can drive our actions and attitudes—which in turn can affect our results.

What is Self-Sabotage?

Self-sabotage is when we intentionally or unintentionally undermine our own success and potential. It can show up in many ways, such as procrastination, fear, perfectionism, or negative self-talk.

But one often-overlooked cause of self-sabotage is the language we use.

The Power of Language

Words are powerful. They can shape our beliefs, attitudes and behaviour. Positive or negative language can significantly influence our emotions, thoughts and actions. What we say to ourselves or to others can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

For example, if you repeatedly tell yourself that you’re not good enough for a particular job, it’ll be much harder to summon up the courage to apply.

The Negative Impact of Language

The language we use can lead to negative self-talk and a cycle of self-sabotaging behaviour. Negative self-talk is when you criticise yourself harshly, focus on your weaknesses and flaws, and doubt your abilities.

The more often you do this, the more it impacts how you feel about yourself and your abilities, and even the goals you pursue.

If you repeatedly tell yourself that you’ll never achieve your goals, it’s highly likely you’ll start to avoid taking action towards them.

On the other hand, positive self-talk and language can boost our confidence, optimism, and motivation, bringing us closer to what we truly desire.

How to Recognise Negative Language

The first step in preventing self-sabotage is to understand the language you use. If you’re unaware of the language you use, it’s difficult to change it.

Being mindful of the words you use, both in your internal dialogue and in your communication with others, is critical.

Here are a few examples of the kinds of negative language that could be holding you back:.

” I can’t…”
“I’m not good enough…”
“I don’t have the skills…”
“I’m too busy…”
“I’ll never…”
“It’s impossible…”

When you hear these kinds of statements from yourself, it’s essential to recognise them and question their validity, rather than simply accepting them as facts.

How to Change Negative Language

Changing negative self-talk takes time and effort, but it’s well worth it. Here are some strategies to help you shift your language, thoughts, and behaviour:.

Replace negative language with cognitive restructuring. Cognitive restructuring is the process of replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. Instead of saying “I can’t do this,” you could say “I may find this challenging, but I’m capable of learning and growing.”
Foster a growth mentality. Embrace the idea that any skills or behaviours you lack can be developed through effort and persistence. Remind yourself that your abilities can grow and change over time.
Acknowledge your inner critic. We all have an inner voice that can be harsh and critical. The first step in silencing it is to acknowledge that it exists and understand that it doesn’t define who we are.
Surround yourself with positive language and people. If you’re continually surrounded by negative people or situations, it’ll be much harder to shift your language and your mindset. Conversely, being around positive and supportive people will help you stay motivated and optimistic.

Conclusion

The language we use is incredibly powerful, and it can have a significant impact on our lives. Negative self-talk and language can lead to a cycle of self-sabotage, making it harder to achieve our goals and fulfil our potential.

By recognising and replacing negative language with positive language, fostering a growth mentality, acknowledging our inner critic, and surrounding ourselves with supportive people, we can shift our language, thoughts, and behaviour towards more positive outcomes.