Being a mom is one of the most challenging yet rewarding journeys a woman can take. Amidst the joy of pregnancy, the pain of childbirth, and the sleepless nights of raising a child, moms go through significant physical and emotional changes.
While these transformations are a natural part of motherhood, there is a common misconception that moms become abstract, or detached from reality, after having kids.
The Fiction: Moms Are Not Abstract
Let’s start by debunking this myth once and for all: moms do not become abstract after having kids.
While they may experience moments of intense stress, exhaustion, and emotional upheaval, being a mother does not turn you into a disembodied or distant being. On the contrary, motherhood can make you more grounded, more empathetic, and more connected to the world around you.
Recent studies have debunked the myth of the abstract mother, revealing that parenting actually enhances cognitive and emotional functions.
The term “mom brain” has been used to describe the forgetfulness and multitasking struggles that new moms experience; however, research shows that this phenomenon is temporary and does not lead to long-term cognitive impairments. In fact, motherhood can promote neuroplasticity, or the brain’s ability to adapt and learn, as well as improve memory, visual-spatial skills, and emotional intelligence.
Moreover, being a mom can also make you more aware of social issues and more engaged with your community.
Mothers often become advocates for their children’s rights, as well as for causes such as education, healthcare, and environmental protection. By nurturing their children’s growth, moms also become advocates for social justice and equity, seeking to create a better world for future generations.
The Fact: Moms Face Unique Challenges
While the abstract-mom myth is definitely false, motherhood does come with its own set of challenges that can affect moms’ mental health and well-being.
For example, postpartum depression is a common condition that affects up to 1 in 7 new mothers. PPD can cause feelings of sadness, anxiety, guilt, and hopelessness, as well as physical symptoms such as fatigue, appetite changes, and insomnia.
Another challenge that moms face is the pressure to be the perfect parent. Society often sets high standards for motherhood, expecting moms to be selfless, nurturing, organized, and successful in all areas of life.
This can lead to feelings of inadequacy, guilt, and anxiety, as well as to the “mom guilt” phenomenon where moms feel guilty for not being able to do everything they think they should do.
Additionally, moms often have to juggle multiple roles and responsibilities, such as being a caregiver, a partner, a worker, and a homemaker. This can lead to burnout, stress, and lack of time for self-care and personal growth.
Moms may feel like they have lost their identity or their sense of purpose outside of motherhood, especially if they had a fulfilling career or hobby before having kids.
The Reality: Moms Are Complex, Dynamic, and Resilient
The truth is that motherhood is a multifaceted, complex, and dynamic experience that is different for every woman.
While moms may face unique challenges and struggle with certain aspects of parenting, they also have the ability to adapt, learn, grow, and overcome obstacles.
Motherhood can be a source of pride, joy, love, and fulfillment, as well as of frustration, sadness, and exhaustion. It can bring moms closer to their children, their partners, their families, and their communities, as well as to their own inner selves.
Ultimately, moms are resilient and strong, capable of facing whatever life throws their way and emerging with more wisdom, empathy, and compassion than before.
Conclusion: Moms Are Real, Not Abstract
In conclusion, the fact or fiction debate over whether moms become abstract after having kids is a flawed and outdated one. The reality is that moms are real human beings with real emotions, thoughts, and experiences.
Motherhood can be both rewarding and challenging, and it requires a lot of hard work, dedication, and sacrifice. However, being a mom is also an opportunity for personal growth, social change, and self-discovery.
Instead of perpetuating myths and stereotypes about motherhood, we should celebrate the diverse and unique experiences of moms and support them in their journey.