As our parents age and we begin to face the reality of their mortality, it can be difficult to know how to approach conversations about their wishes for their future and their end-of-life care.

However, these conversations are important to have, not only to ensure that their wishes are respected, but also to provide us with peace of mind and a sense of control in an otherwise unpredictable situation. Here are eight essential questions to ask your parents before it’s too late.

1. Do you have a will?

A will is a legal document that outlines how a person’s assets will be distributed after their death. It’s important to know if your parents have a will and, if so, where it is located.

If they don’t have a will, it’s important to encourage them to create one as soon as possible to ensure that their wishes are carried out.

2. Do you have a power of attorney?

A power of attorney is a legal document that appoints someone to make decisions on behalf of your parent if they become unable to do so.

This is particularly important if your parent develops a condition like dementia or Alzheimer’s disease that may affect their decision-making abilities. Make sure you know who your parent has designated as their power of attorney and where the document is located.

3. What are your end-of-life wishes?

It can be difficult to talk about death, but it’s important to know what your parent’s end-of-life wishes are.

Do they want to be kept alive through artificial means? Do they want to be cremated or buried? Knowing these wishes can prevent conflicts among family members and ensure that your parent’s wishes are respected.

4. Do you have a designated healthcare surrogate?

A healthcare surrogate is someone who can advocate for your parent’s healthcare wishes if they become unable to do so. This is different from a power of attorney, which focuses on financial and legal decisions.

Make sure you know who your parent has designated as their healthcare surrogate and where the document is located.

5. What are your healthcare preferences?

It’s important to know your parent’s healthcare preferences, particularly if they have a chronic or terminal illness.

Do they want aggressive medical treatment or do they prefer palliative care? Are there any specific treatments or medications they don’t want to receive? Knowing these preferences can help you advocate for your parent’s wishes if they are unable to do so themselves.

6. What are your financial arrangements?

If your parent becomes unable to manage their finances, it’s important to know what arrangements they have in place.

Are there any bills that need to be paid regularly? Do they have any investments that need to be managed? Knowing these details can help you provide support if needed.

7. Do you have any specific requests or instructions?

Your parent may have specific requests or instructions that they want you to carry out after they pass away. These might include things like distributing heirlooms or making donations to a favorite charity.

Make sure you know what these requests are and that you are able to carry them out.

8. Is there anything else you want me to know?

Finally, it’s important to give your parent the opportunity to share anything else that’s on their mind. This might include fears or worries they have, or things they want to make sure you know.

Giving them space to share can help them feel heard and can also give you important insights into their needs and wishes.

Conclusion

Having conversations with your parents about their end-of-life wishes and plans can be difficult, but it’s important to do so while you still have the chance.

By asking these eight essential questions, you can ensure that your parent’s wishes are respected and that you have the information you need to make decisions on their behalf if necessary.