Have you ever been left speechless by a completely unexpected comment or question? Has your mind ever gone blank when someone asked you something that you had no idea how to respond to?.
It happens to everyone. Sometimes, people say or ask things that are simply too forward, rude, or insensitive.
The trick is learning how to deflect those direct comments and questions in a way that doesn’t offend the person but also doesn’t leave you feeling vulnerable or awkward.
Why Deflection Can Be Helpful
The ability to deflect direct comments and questions can be valuable in many areas of life.
For example, if you’re in a job interview and the interviewer asks a difficult or unexpected question, deflecting the question can keep the interview moving along smoothly and prevent any awkward silences.
Similarly, if you’re in a social setting and someone makes a comment or asks a question that you don’t feel comfortable addressing, deflecting can help you avoid any potential conflict or hard feelings.
How to Deflect Direct
Here are some strategies for deflection that you can use in a variety of situations:.
1. Acknowledge and Redirect
One of the simplest ways to deflect a direct comment or question is to acknowledge the person’s statement and then redirect the conversation somewhere else. For example, if someone asked you how much money you make, you could say something like:.
“I’m not comfortable discussing my salary, but have you checked out that new coffee shop on the corner?”.
This approach shows that you heard the person’s question but also makes it clear that you won’t be answering it. The redirection to another topic can be a great way to keep the conversation flowing without getting bogged down in an uncomfortable topic.
2. Use Humor
Humor can be a great way to deflect direct comments or questions. A well-timed joke or quip can change the tone of the conversation and diffuse any tension. For example, if someone asked you a personal question, you could respond with:.
“Oh, I thought we were going to talk about aliens and conspiracy theories! But if you really want to know, I prefer my avocado toast with a poached egg on top.”.
Using humor can show that you’re not taking the comment or question too seriously, and can also be a good way to bond with the person by sharing a laugh together.
3. Pivot to a Different Topic
If you don’t feel comfortable directly addressing a comment or question, you can always pivot the conversation to a different topic. This can be especially helpful if the original topic is getting too heated or personal.
For example, if someone asks you about your political beliefs and you don’t want to get into a debate, you could say something like:.
“I think we should all focus on finding common ground and working towards positive change. Speaking of which, have you heard about that new community service project in town?”.
Pivoting to a different topic can not only help you avoid an uncomfortable conversation but can also steer the conversation towards a more positive and productive direction.
What to Avoid When Deflecting Direct
While deflection can be an effective way to handle direct comments and questions, there are a few things that you should avoid:.
1. Being Rude or Confrontational
Even if you feel offended or uncomfortable with a comment or question, it’s important to respond in a way that is respectful and polite. Being rude, confrontational, or dismissive can escalate the situation and make the other person feel attacked.
2. Lying or Dodging
While deflection is all about avoiding direct answers, it’s important to maintain your integrity and authenticity in your responses. Lying or dodging the question altogether can create mistrust and undermine your credibility.
3. Overusing Deflection
While deflection can be a powerful tool, it’s important not to overuse it or rely too heavily on it. If you’re constantly deflecting questions or redirecting conversations, it can come across as evasive or untrustworthy.
Conclusion
Learning how to deflect direct comments and questions is an important skill that can help you navigate a variety of social and professional situations.
When done correctly, deflection can help you keep the conversation moving while also protecting your boundaries and maintaining your integrity.