If you are in a relationship, you may have experienced moments when your partner was self-centered or exhibited a disregard for your feelings.

But how do you know if your partner is just being insensitive or if they have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD)? While NPD is a clinical diagnosis that can only be made by a mental health professional, there are several red flags that could indicate that your partner has this disorder.

1. Lack of Empathy

People with NPD lack empathy, which means they have difficulty understanding and sharing in your feelings. They may not be able to comfort you when you are upset and may dismiss your concerns as insignificant.

They may also seem oblivious to your needs and expectations, as if they don’t care about you as a person.

2. Need for Control

Narcissists often feel the need to be in control of every aspect of their lives and the lives of those around them. They may try to control what you wear, what you eat, who you see, and how you spend your time.

They may also make decisions without consulting you or disregard your opinions and preferences altogether. This need for control can be a sign of a deeper insecurity and fear of losing power.

3. Grandiosity

Individuals with NPD have an inflated sense of self-importance and may exaggerate their achievements and talents. They may feel entitled to special treatment or recognition and expect others to admire or revere them.

They may also be preoccupied with fantasies of success, power, and wealth and believe they are superior to others.

4. Manipulation

Narcissists may use manipulation tactics to get their way or to control people around them. They may lie, deceive, or exploit others to achieve their goals and may use guilt, fear, or charm to persuade or influence others.

They may also engage in gaslighting, a form of emotional abuse in which they deny your reality or experiences and make you doubt your own sanity.

5. Lack of Accountability

People with NPD may have difficulty accepting responsibility for their actions and may blame others for their problems or mistakes.

They may never apologize or acknowledge the impact of their behavior on others and may deflect criticism by shifting the blame or making excuses.

Related Article 7 warning signs that your partner may have narcissistic tendencies

6. Self-Centeredness

Narcissists are often self-centered and may only be interested in talking about themselves and their achievements. They may interrupt you, ignore your questions, or talk over you to redirect the conversation back to themselves.

They may also monopolize conversations or demand all your attention, leaving little room for your own needs and interests.

7. Arrogance

Individuals with NPD may come across as arrogant or condescending and may belittle or ridicule others who don’t meet their standards. They may be judgmental or critical of others and dismiss their opinions or feelings as irrelevant or unimportant.

This arrogance can be a sign of deep-seated insecurity and a need to feel superior to others.

8. Lack of Boundaries

Narcissists may not respect your boundaries and may overstep them without your consent. They may invade your personal space, read your emails or texts, or expect you to be available to them at all times.

They may also disregard your boundaries around sex and intimacy and may pressure you into doing things you are not comfortable with.

9. Intense Charm

Narcissists are often very charming and charismatic, at least at first. They may shower you with attention, compliments, and gifts, and make you feel like the center of their world.

They may also use their charm to manipulate or deceive you and may turn on you once you no longer serve their needs.

10. Lack of Reciprocity

Narcissists often have difficulty maintaining healthy relationships because they are unable to reciprocate love, empathy, or concern. They may not care about your needs or feelings and may only be interested in what you can do for them.

They may also be reluctant to share their own vulnerabilities or emotions and may see your attempts to connect with them as a sign of weakness or neediness.

If you recognize any of these red flags in your relationship, it may be a sign that your partner has narcissistic personality disorder. It’s important to seek professional help if you are experiencing emotional abuse or feel unsafe.

Remember that you deserve to be in a healthy and loving relationship, and that you are not alone.