Depression is a serious mental health issue that affects millions of people worldwide. A person struggling with depression may find it difficult to express their emotions or may feel ashamed or guilty about the way they feel.

It is important to be supportive and understanding of someone with depression, but sometimes well-intentioned comments can be hurtful or unhelpful. Here are 30 things to avoid saying to someone struggling with depression:.

1. “Just snap out of it”

This is one of the worst things to say to someone with depression. It suggests that the person is not trying hard enough to feel better and trivializes the illness.

2. “Just think positive”

Depression is not a matter of negative thinking that can be turned off like a light switch. Trying to force someone to think positively can make them feel worse.

3. “You have nothing to be depressed about”

Depression can occur for many reasons, and people may not be able to explain why they feel the way they do. Saying this can make someone feel guilty or ashamed for their feelings.

4. “You should be grateful for what you have”

Gratitude is important, but depression is not a matter of being ungrateful. Allowing someone to feel their emotions without judgement is crucial to healing.

5. “You are being selfish”

Depression is not a choice and it is not a sign of weakness or selfishness. It is a legitimate illness that requires proper treatment and understanding.

6. “Just avoid negative people or situations”

It’s not always possible to control one’s environment, and avoiding things that make one uncomfortable can lead to isolation. Suggesting avoidance only further reinforces negative habits.

7. “It’s all in your head”

While depression may be a psychological disorder, the feelings and emotions that accompany depression are very real and can be deeply painful. This statement can make the person feel dismissed, invalidated or misunderstood.

8. “At least you don’t have it as bad as others”

Comparing one’s depression to those who are “worse off” does more harm than good. Pain, suffering and discomfort are unique to each individual and does not invalidate one another’s experience.

9. “Have you tried exercising more?”

While exercise can be a helpful coping mechanism for improving mental health, it is important to remember that depression is a medical condition that requires proper treatment and advice from a healthcare professional.

10. “You are just looking for attention”

People with depression are not seeking attention, in fact, many feel shame or embarrassment around their feelings. This kind of statement can be harmful, invalidating and reinforces negative self-talk.

11. “You are making everyone else miserable”

Supporting someone with depression can be difficult, but making someone feel guilty for their emotions is not constructive and adds to an already complex issue.

12. “You are too sensitive”

People with depression may be more sensitive or emotional than usual, but this is not a choice and should not be shamed or belittled.

13. “Just think about the good things in your life”

Positive thinking is important, but it is not a magic bullet for depression. Complex and individualized approaches to managing depression may be required and may involve professional help.

14. “It’s not that bad”

Everyone’s experience with depression is unique and sometimes it can be extremely severe. It is important to take the person’s experience seriously, even if it appears mild on the surface.

15. “You are not taking care of yourself”

It is very difficult to take care of oneself when dealing with depression, and often the simplest tasks may feel exhausting. Encouraging self-compassion and non-judgement can be more helpful than telling someone what they “should” be doing.

16. “You just need to get out more”

Socializing can be difficult for someone with depression, and sometimes crowds or events can be overwhelming or triggering. It is important to work at the individual’s pace in order to avoid making things worse.

17. “I know how you feel”

While it may be well-intentioned, this statement can be dismissive and make the one with depression feel unheard or unimportant. Instead, allow the person to guide the conversation and be an attentive listener.

Related Article Words that Can Hurt: What Not to Say to Someone with Depression

18. “Depression is a choice”

Depression is no more a choice than any other illness, and there is nothing that the person can do to simply “choose happiness”.

19. “You are just being dramatic”

Depression can lead to heightened emotions or reactions, but this is not something that the person can simply control. Ignoring or belittling the person’s emotions only adds to the negative cycle.

20. “Everyone has bad days”

While it is true that everyone feels down sometimes, depression is far more complex and pervasive than just having a bad day.

21. “You should just pray about it”

While religion or spirituality can be helpful for some people, it is not a substitute for professional medical treatment.

22. “Why can’t you just be happy?”

If it were that easy, the person would have already chosen to be happy. Negative comments like this are very unhelpful and unproductive.

23. “You are just being lazy”

Depression can make even the simplest tasks seem overwhelming, and the person is not being lazy. It is important to be compassionate and non-judgmental.

24. “Just get over it”

Depression is not a momentary discomfort that can be dismissed. It is a legitimate illness that requires time and effort to manage. Brushing off the situation without empathy or understanding is counterproductive.

25. “Maybe if you slept better, you’d feel better”

Sleep patterns and depression are intimately linked, but there is no overnight cure for depression related sleep disturbances.

In fact, if the person’s sleep pattern is disrupted because of their depression, the advice to simply “get more sleep” could be frustrating and unhelpful.

26. “But you have such a good life”

Depression can happen to anyone, regardless of how good their life appears on the outside. Everyone’s experience with depression is valid, and cannot be judged by their circumstances.

27. “You should be over this by now”

Recovery from depression is a process that can take time, and the person cannot simply “get over it” at will.

Rehabilitating from mental health issues requires patience, compassion, and adequate support from family and healthcare professionals alike.

28. “You are just being difficult”

Negative comments like this suggest that the person is creating trouble on purpose. Instead of shaming, try to reassure them and offer realistic support and guidance.

29. “I don’t know what’s wrong with you”

If you don’t know how to help, it is important to be honest and transparent. Try to offer alternative support, such as connecting them with an appropriate counselor or medical professional.

30. “Just take a pill and you will feel better”

Medication may be an important component of treating depression, but it is not a one-size-fits-all solution. Different antidepressants work differently on different people, and psychological counseling may also be necessary.

Conclusion

Depression is a serious mental health issue that requires support, empathy, and understanding from those around you.

People dealing with mental health issues can also feel guilty or ashamed of their emotions, making it harder to express it or talk about it. Awareness of the language we use in conjunction with mental health will help reduce the stigma surrounding it and ensure a better recovery outcome.

Remember to offer your sympathy and support in a calm and non-judgmental way, respecting the autonomy and value of the person who is struggling.