Comparing oneself with others is a natural tendency that every individual goes through at some point in their life. While it may seem harmless at first, it can quickly turn into envy if not kept in check.

Envy is one of the seven deadly sins and can lead to negative emotions such as jealousy, resentment, and discontent. Therefore, it is essential to understand why we compare ourselves with others and how it can be detrimental to our mental well-being.

The Envy Quiz

Do you find yourself comparing yourself with others frequently? Take this envy quiz to find out whether your comparisons are healthy or leading to negative emotions like envy:.

Do you frequently compare your material possessions like your car, house, or gadgets with your friends, colleagues, or acquaintances?
Do you measure your self-worth based on the number of likes, followers, or comments on your social media posts?
Do you feel anxious or upset when someone in your social circle achieves a major life milestone or accomplishment, such as getting a promotion or buying a house?
Do you feel a surge of happiness when someone you know experiences a setback or failure?
Do you feel pressured to keep up with the latest trends in fashion, technology, or lifestyle choices to avoid feeling left behind or inferior to others?
Do you often compare your physical appearance to others and feel dissatisfied with your own?
Do you feel the need to project a perfect image of yourself to others, even if it means exaggerating or lying about your accomplishments or lifestyle choices?
Do you avoid spending time with people who are more successful or accomplished than you, as it makes you feel inadequate or unworthy?
Do you find yourself constantly seeking validation or approval from others, even if it means compromising your values or beliefs?
Do you feel unhappy or dissatisfied with your life, even though you have everything you need or want on a material level?

Interpreting the Results

If you answered yes to one or two questions, you are likely to engage in occasional comparisons, which are generally harmless and common.

However, if you answered yes to three or more questions, you may need to examine your comparison habits more critically.

If you answered yes to five or more questions, you could be experiencing envy, which could negatively impact your mental health and well-being. Envy can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction, resentment, and bitterness towards yourself and others.

It can also affect your relationships and social interactions by causing you to distance yourself from others or become overly competitive or critical.

If you think you may be experiencing envy, it’s essential to take steps to address those feelings before they become overwhelming.

One way to do this is by focusing on gratitude and appreciation for what you have in your life, rather than what you lack. You can also work on building your self-esteem and self-confidence by identifying your strengths and accomplishments and being kind to yourself.

Why Do We Compare Ourselves With Others?

Comparing ourselves with others is a natural human tendency that serves several purposes. Here are a few reasons why we compare ourselves with others:.

Social comparison theory

The social comparison theory suggests that we compare ourselves with others to evaluate our own abilities, opinions, and beliefs.

By comparing ourselves with others, we can get a sense of where we stand in comparison and adjust our behaviors and thoughts accordingly. For instance, if we see that someone we admire has achieved a goal that we want to achieve, we may feel motivated to work harder to achieve the same goal.

Instinctual curiosity

Humans are inherently curious beings. We want to know how we measure up against others, and we also desire to learn from others’ experiences.

This natural curiosity can lead to comparisons, which can be helpful in learning new things and growing as individuals.

Cultural and societal influences

Our culture and society have a significant impact on our comparison habits. We are bombarded with images and messages about what success, beauty, and achievement should look like.

These standards are often impossible to meet, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy and shame. Therefore, it’s crucial to be aware of the messages that we are exposed to and filter them to avoid falling into destructive comparison habits.

The Dangers of Envy

While comparing ourselves with others can be informative and even motivating, it can also lead to envy, which is a destructive emotion. Envy can lead to the following negative emotions and behaviors:.

Jealousy

Envy can make us feel jealous of others’ accomplishments, possessions, or relationships. We may resent them for having what we lack, which can lead to strained relationships and negative emotions.

Resentment

Envy can also lead to feelings of resentment towards others. We may feel like we are being left behind or unfairly treated, which can lead to bitterness and anger.

Low self-esteem and self-worth

Envy can make us feel inadequate and inferior to others. We may start to doubt our abilities and worth as individuals, which can lead to low self-esteem and self-worth.

Isolation and loneliness

Envy can also cause us to distance ourselves from others or avoid social interactions altogether. We may feel like we don’t belong or that we are not good enough, which can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness.

Unhealthy competition

Envy can also lead to unhealthy competition with others. We may become overly competitive or critical of others to prove our worth and superiority, which can strain relationships and lead to negative behaviors.

How to Overcome Envy

Overcoming envy is essential to maintaining good mental health and healthy relationships with others. Here are a few tips for coping with envy:.

Practice gratitude

Gratitude is an effective way to overcome envy. By focusing on what we have rather than what we lack, we can cultivate feelings of contentment and appreciation for our lives.

Make a habit of practicing gratitude by listing down three things you are grateful for each day.

Avoid social media triggers

Social media can be a breeding ground for envy, as we are constantly exposed to images and messages about what we should have or be. Try to limit your time on social media and avoid following accounts or people who trigger your comparison habits.

Focus on your strengths and value

When we focus on our strengths and value as individuals, we can cultivate a sense of self-worth and confidence. Identify your unique talents and qualities and use them to your advantage.

Avoid comparing yourself with others

Avoid comparing yourself with others as much as possible. Remember that everyone has their own challenges and struggles, and no one is perfect. Focus on your journey and progress rather than comparing yourself to others.

Seek professional help

If you are experiencing severe envy or negative emotions, seek professional help. Counseling or therapy can help you identify the root causes of your comparison habits and work towards overcoming them.

Conclusion

Comparing oneself with others is a natural human tendency, but it can quickly turn into envy if not kept in check. Envy is a destructive emotion that can lead to negative emotions and behaviors, such as jealousy, resentment, and low self-esteem.

Therefore, it’s essential to be aware of our comparison habits and take steps to overcome envy when necessary. By practicing gratitude, focusing on our strengths and value, and avoiding social media triggers, we can overcome envy and cultivate healthy relationships with ourselves and others.