Tantrums are a normal part of child development, but they can be exhausting and frustrating for parents. When a child has a tantrum, it can feel like the entire world is crumbling down around them, and you don’t know how to handle the situation.
However, there are steps you can take to help your child through their tantrum and teach them better ways to cope with their emotions.
Stay Calm
The first step in dealing with a tantrum is to stay calm. It can be difficult to remain calm when your child is screaming and crying, but getting upset will only escalate the situation.
Take a deep breath and remind yourself that your child is not trying to make your life difficult. They are simply experiencing big emotions that they don’t know how to handle yet.
Get Down to Their Level
When your child is having a tantrum, it can be helpful to get down to their level. This shows them that you are there for them and helps them feel more connected to you. If you’re in a public place, find a quiet spot where your child can calm down.
If you’re at home, sit down with your child on the floor or bed.
Use a Calm Voice
Speak to your child in a calm voice. Remember that they are already overwhelmed and using a loud or angry voice will only make the situation worse. Speak to your child in a reassuring tone and let them know that you are there to help them.
Validate Their Feelings
It’s important to validate your child’s feelings, even if you don’t agree with their behavior. Let them know that you understand that they are feeling upset or frustrated.
This doesn’t mean that you are giving in to their demands – you are simply acknowledging their emotions.
Let Them Express Themselves
Children often have tantrums because they don’t know how to express their feelings. Letting them express themselves in a safe and controlled way can help them release some of their pent-up emotions.
Encourage your child to use words to express how they are feeling rather than lashing out physically.
Offer Choices
When your child is in the throes of a tantrum, they often feel like they have no control over their situation. Offering them choices can help them feel more in control.
For example, you can ask them if they would like to sit on your lap or on the floor to calm down. Make sure that the choices you offer are age-appropriate and safe.
Redirect Their Attention
If your child is fixated on something that is causing their tantrum, try to redirect their attention to something else. This can be as simple as pointing out a bird outside or offering them a toy to play with.
By changing their focus, you can often help them forget what was causing their distress.
Set Limits
While it’s important to validate your child’s feelings, it’s also important to set limits on their behavior. Let your child know that their behavior is not acceptable and that you expect them to behave appropriately.
Make it clear what the consequence will be if they continue their tantrum, and follow through if necessary.
Teach Coping Skills
Ultimately, the goal of dealing with tantrums is to help your child learn better coping skills for dealing with their emotions. Talk to your child when they are calm and teach them techniques for calming down when they are upset.
Some techniques you can teach include taking deep breaths, counting to 10, or using a calming phrase like “I can do this.”.
Conclusion
Tantrums are a normal part of child development, but they can be difficult to handle as a parent.
By staying calm, getting down to your child’s level, using a calm voice, validating their feelings, letting them express themselves, offering choices, redirecting their attention, setting limits, and teaching coping skills, you can help your child learn how to deal with their emotions in a healthy way.