Ever since I can remember I have had a constant battle with darkness. A darkness that is not visible to the naked eye, but one that can be felt deep in my soul.

Although this darkness has at times made me feel defeated, it has also given me the strength to overcome some of my greatest challenges.

Early Years

Growing up I struggled with anxiety and depression.

My parents did not understand mental health issues, so I was often told to, “Just snap out of it” or “What do you have to be sad about?” I felt like I was carrying a heavy weight around with me wherever I went.

One of my earliest memories of this darkness was when I was 11 years old. I had come home from school and had an argument with my mother. I remember feeling an overwhelming sense of hopelessness and despair.

I didn’t know how to cope with these feelings, so I grabbed a large kitchen knife and held it to my wrist. I didn’t want to die, but I didn’t know how to make the pain stop.

The Power of Therapy

It wasn’t until I was in my early twenties that I sought help. I was in a very dark place and felt like I had hit rock bottom. I found a therapist who had experience working with anxiety and depression.

Going to therapy was one of the scariest things I have ever done, but it ended up being one of the most powerful things I have ever done as well.

Through therapy, I learned coping mechanisms that allowed me to take control of my mental health. I was taught how to challenge negative thoughts, I learned how to practice mindfulness, and I discovered the power of self-care.

Maintaining My Mental Health

Maintaining my mental health has become a daily practice. I have found that exercise is a natural antidepressant. It may not cure my anxiety and depression, but it certainly makes it more manageable. I also try to eat a balanced diet and get enough sleep.

When I am feeling overwhelmed, I make a conscious effort to take a break and do something I enjoy.

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I have also found it helpful to have a support system. This can be a therapist, family, friends, or a combination of all three.

It is important to have people in your life who understand what you are going through and who can offer encouragement and support.

Learning to Embrace the Darkness

Over the years, I have come to realize that the darkness can also be a source of strength. It has forced me to be resilient and to never give up. Whenever I feel like I am falling apart, I remind myself how far I have come and how much I have overcome.

I have also learned that it is okay to not be okay. I used to feel like I had to put on a brave face and pretend like everything was fine. But the reality is, we all have bad days.

It is important to allow ourselves the space to feel our emotions and to ask for help when we need it.

The Journey Continues

My battle with darkness is ongoing, and that is okay. I have learned that it is not something that can be cured, but rather something that can be managed. Some days are harder than others, but I know that I can get through them.

I hope that by sharing my story, others who may be going through similar struggles will know that they are not alone. There is power in vulnerability and in sharing our struggles.

It is my hope that by sharing my journey, I can help break the stigma surrounding mental health and inspire others to seek the help they need.

Conclusion

My battle with darkness has been a long and challenging journey, but it has also been filled with growth and resilience. Through therapy, self-care, and support, I have been able to manage my anxiety and depression.

I have learned that it is okay to not be okay, and that vulnerability is a strength. My journey continues, but I know that I am not alone.