Narcissists are attracted to people who can facilitate their grandiosity and fulfill their sense of entitlement. They seek those who admire them, serve their needs, and provide them with a social status boost.
Narcissists often surround themselves with a cohort of followers, fans, acolytes, and enablers to reinforce their dominance, power, and glory. In this article, we will explore some of the people that narcissists tend to associate with and why they are attractive to them.
The Idealisation Phase
In the early stages of a relationship with a narcissist, they go through an intense period of idealisation, where they put their targets on a pedestal, shower them with attention, affection, and gifts, and present themselves as the perfect partners.
They use a combination of flattery, charm, and seduction to create a euphoric thrill in their victim’s mind, convincing them that they have found their soulmate, their savior, their prince charming, or their goddess. The following are some of the people that narcissists often idealise:.
The Codependent
Codependents are individuals who have a compulsive need to take care of others, often at the expense of their own needs and desires. They have low self-esteem, poor boundaries, and a pattern of putting others first.
Narcissists see codependents as easy targets, as they are willing to tolerate their abuse, manipulation, and exploitation, in the hope of getting their love, approval, and validation. Narcissists use codependents as a source of emotional supply, using them as a parental figure, a therapist, a confidant, or a servant.
Narcissists idealise codependents for their unconditional love, their ability to forgive, and their willingness to sacrifice their own happiness.
The Empath
Empaths are individuals who have an innate ability to sense and feel the emotions of others. They are highly sensitive, compassionate, and intuitive, often attracting people who need emotional support and guidance.
Narcissists seek out empaths for their ability to empathize with their pain, their emotional intelligence, and their healing powers. Narcissists see empaths as a source of admiration, validation, and sympathy and use them to boost their self-esteem and alleviate their loneliness. Narcissists idealise empaths for their purity, their innocence, and their selflessness.
The Enthusiast
Enthusiasts are individuals who are passionate, energetic, and optimistic, often pursuing their interests with excitement and vigor. Narcissists are drawn to enthusiasts for their charisma, their confidence, and their fun-loving nature.
Narcissists see enthusiasts as a source of entertainment, distraction, and stimulation, using them to enhance their social status, their image, and their reputation. Narcissists idealise enthusiasts for their zest for life, their creativity, and their energetic vibe.
The Prodigy
Prodigies are individuals who have exceptional talent, skills, or intelligence, often exceeding their peers in their respective fields. Narcissists are attracted to prodigies for their brilliance, their ingenuity, and their uniqueness.
Narcissists see prodigies as a source of admiration, envy, and awe, using them to feed their ego and bolster their self-importance. Narcissists idealise prodigies for their exceptional abilities, their achievements, and their potential.
The Power Seeker
Power seekers are individuals who have a strong desire for control, authority, and influence, often pursuing leadership positions in their careers or social spheres.
Narcissists are drawn to power seekers for their ambition, their assertiveness, and their dominance. Narcissists see power seekers as a source of inspiration, competition, and validation, using them as a benchmark to measure their own success and status.
Narcissists idealise power seekers for their leadership skills, their charisma, and their assertiveness.
The Supply Source
Supply sources are individuals who provide the narcissist with the attention, praise, and adulation they crave. They often include family members, friends, colleagues, followers, and fans.
Narcissists are attracted to supply sources for their willingness to flatter, appease, and worship them, often using them as a mirror to reflect their own greatness. Narcissists see supply sources as a source of validation, admiration, and attention, using them to boost their self-esteem and fulfil their need for attention. Narcissists idealise supply sources for their loyalty, their devotion, and their adoration.
The Devalue and Discard Phase
After the idealisation phase, narcissists often switch into the devalue and discard phase, where they distance themselves from their targets, criticise them, blame them, and eventually abandon them.
They may move on to new sources of narcissistic supply or find ways to punish their former victims. The following are some of the people that narcissists often devalue and discard:.
The Critic
Critics are individuals who challenge, question, or disapprove of the narcissist’s beliefs, opinions, or behaviour. They often hold the narcissist accountable for their actions, force them to confront their flaws, and set boundaries.
Narcissists resent critics for their interference, their rejection, and their threat to their grandiose sense of self. Narcissists denigrate critics as jealous, bitter, incompetent, or crazy, using them as a scapegoat for their own failures and deficiencies.
The Independent Thinker
Independent thinkers are individuals who have their own ideas, values, and preferences, often differing from the narcissist’s.
They refuse to conform to the narcissist’s demands or expectations, assert their autonomy, and challenge the narcissist’s authority. Narcissists despise independent thinkers for their defiance, their nonconformity, and their threat to their control. Narcissists punish independent thinkers with silent treatment, withdrawal, or attacks on their character.
The Ex-Partner
Ex-partners are individuals who have had a romantic or sexual relationship with the narcissist. They may have been discarded, left, or abandoned by the narcissist, or they may have left the narcissist for their own reasons.
Narcissists resent ex-partners for their rejection, their threat to their grandiose sense of self, and their ability to move on without them. Narcissists may smear ex-partners, stalk them, or use them as a backup supply source.
The Competitor
Competitors are individuals who pose a threat to the narcissist’s superiority, success, or image. They may be colleagues, friends, or acquaintances who are more accomplished, talented, or attractive than the narcissist.
Narcissists envy competitors for their talents, achievements, and popularity, using them as a benchmark to measure their own worth. Narcissists may sabotage competitors, spread rumors about them, or try to outdo them.
The Scapegoat
Scapegoats are individuals who are blamed, punished, or sacrificed for the narcissist’s mistakes, failures, or faults.
They may be family members, friends, colleagues, or acquaintances who are convenient targets to blame for the narcissist’s problems. Narcissists use scapegoats as a way to avoid responsibility, deflect criticism, and maintain their self-image as flawless and perfect. Narcissists may abuse, betray, or ostracize scapegoats.
Conclusion
Narcissists are drawn to people who can satisfy their insatiable hunger for attention, admiration, and validation. They idealize those who can serve their needs and discard those who threaten their grandiosity.
Understanding the patterns of narcissistic associations can help us avoid falling prey to their manipulations and protect ourselves from their toxic influence.