Happiness is something that we all strive for in life. We often think that happiness is related to our external circumstances such as our job, relationships, or finances.

However, research has shown that happiness is more related to our internal thoughts and beliefs than our external circumstances. In this article, we will explore the 3 most common negative thoughts that sabotage our happiness and how to overcome them.

1. All or Nothing Thinking

All or nothing thinking is a type of cognitive distortion that involves seeing things as black or white, with no shades of gray in between.

This type of thinking can be extremely damaging as it can lead to feelings of frustration, disappointment, and hopelessness. For example, if you receive a B on a test, you may view it as a complete failure rather than acknowledging that you did well on a majority of the exam.

One way to overcome all or nothing thinking is to practice mindfulness. Mindfulness involves being present in the moment without judgment.

This can help you recognize when you are engaging in all or nothing thinking and help you reframe the situation in a more positive light. Additionally, practicing self-compassion can also help you become more aware of your internal dialogue and reduce the likelihood of negative thinking.

2. Catastrophizing

Catastrophizing is another type of cognitive distortion that involves imagining the worst-case scenario in any given situation. This type of thinking can lead to feelings of anxiety, stress, and hopelessness.

For example, if you lose your job, you may catastrophize by imagining that you will never find another job again and become destitute.

Related Article 3 Beliefs that Hold You Back

To overcome catastrophizing, it’s important to practice cognitive restructuring. This involves challenging the negative thoughts and replacing them with more realistic, balanced thoughts.

For example, instead of catastrophizing about losing your job, focus on the fact that you have skills and experience that can be transferred to a new job. Additionally, practicing relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga can also help reduce anxiety and stress associated with catastrophizing.

3. Personalization

Personalization is a type of cognitive distortion that involves taking responsibility for things that are outside of our control. This type of thinking can lead to feelings of guilt, shame, and inadequacy.

For example, if a friend cancels plans with you, you may personalize the situation by assuming that you did something wrong and that your friend no longer wants to spend time with you.

To overcome personalization, it’s important to recognize that not everything is about you. Instead of assuming that you are responsible for everything that happens in your life, focus on the things that are within your control.

Additionally, practicing self-care such as exercise, healthy eating, and getting enough sleep can also help you feel more confident and grounded in your interactions with others.

Conclusion

Negative thoughts can be powerful obstacles that sabotage our happiness and well-being. However, with practice, it’s possible to overcome these negative patterns of thinking and create a more positive and fulfilling life.

By practicing mindfulness, cognitive restructuring, self-compassion, and self-care, you can help overcome the 3 most common negative thoughts that sabotage your happiness.