Self-esteem is a fragile thing. It can be easily damaged by the words we use or the actions we take. If someone you know is struggling with their self-esteem, it’s important to be supportive and understanding.

However, there are certain things you should avoid saying to someone who is already feeling down. Here are a few things you shouldn’t say to someone struggling with self-esteem:.

“Just Get Over It”

It’s not that simple. Telling someone to “just get over it” implies that their struggles with self-esteem are insignificant and that they should be able to fix them easily.

However, self-esteem issues are complex and can be deeply rooted in a person’s past experiences and relationships. Encourage your friend or loved one to seek professional help or talk to someone they trust instead.

“You’re Being Ridiculous”

What might seem like a small issue to you can loom much larger in the mind of someone struggling with self-esteem. Telling them they’re being ridiculous or overreacting can make them feel even more ashamed and isolated.

Instead, listen to their concerns, validate their feelings, and offer support.

“Stop Being So Negative”

While it’s important to try to stay positive, simply telling someone to “stop being so negative” isn’t helpful. In fact, it can be downright harmful.

This kind of comment doesn’t address the underlying issues and can make the person feel like their worries are being dismissed or ignored. Instead, try to help them shift their focus to something more positive or offer to help them find ways to feel better.

“I Know How You Feel”

Everyone’s experiences with self-esteem issues are unique.

Even if you’ve struggled with similar feelings in the past, it’s better to focus on listening and showing empathy rather than assuming you know exactly what your friend or loved one is going through. Try to avoid comparing their experiences to your own or offering quick fixes that might not work for them.

“You Should Just Do/Be _____”

Self-esteem issues aren’t easy to solve, and simply telling someone what they should or shouldn’t do won’t fix the problem.

Everyone has their own unique journey to building self-esteem, and it’s important to encourage your friend or loved one to find their own path. Instead, try to offer support and guidance without being prescriptive.

“You’re Not Alone”

While it’s important to let someone know they’re not alone in their struggles, simply saying “you’re not alone” can come across as dismissive or trite.

Instead, offer specific examples of ways you or others have dealt with similar issues and let them know that you’re there to support them.

“You’re Fine Just the Way You Are”

While it’s important to show acceptance and support, simply telling someone they’re fine just the way they are can feel like a platitude.

It doesn’t help the person address their underlying issues or find ways to build their self-esteem. Instead, focus on validating their feelings and offering support as they work to improve their self-image.

“I Can’t Believe You Feel That Way”

It can be hard to understand how someone else is feeling, but telling them you can’t believe they feel a certain way can make them feel invalidated. Instead, focus on trying to understand their perspective and validating their feelings.

“You’re Not Trying Hard Enough”

Self-esteem issues aren’t a matter of trying hard enough. Simply telling someone they’re not trying hard enough can make them feel like they’re not doing enough to address their issues.

Instead, offer encouragement and support, and encourage them to try different strategies and techniques until they find what works for them.

“You Shouldn’t Care What Other People Think”

While it’s important not to let other people’s opinions control your life, it’s also important to acknowledge that we all care, to some degree, about what others think of us.

Simply telling someone they shouldn’t care what other people think minimizes their feelings and experiences. Instead, try to help your friend or loved one build their self-acceptance and self-confidence so that they can be more resilient in the face of criticism or judgment from others.

Conclusion

Building self-esteem is a journey, and it’s not always easy. If someone you know is struggling with their self-esteem, it’s important to be supportive and understanding.

Avoiding harmful language or actions is essential to helping them feel heard and validated.