Desires are an inescapable aspect of human nature, and it’s common to believe that fulfilling one’s desires leads to happiness and well-being.
However, desire often propels us towards instant gratification, which can negatively impact our lives in the long run. The solution? Suppressing desire, which we achieved through different strategies. Here, we present six contradictory strategies to combat desire:.
1. Accepting Your Desires
Many spiritual teachings suggest that accepting desires can help us move beyond them. According to this approach, avoiding or suppressing our desires creates emotional resistance, which can lead to anxiety and depression.
On the other hand, accepting your cravings and desires gives them room to exist and eventually dissolve. Accepting desire is also like accepting yourself. When you acknowledge your desires, instead of ignoring them, you take a step towards living authentically.
2. Deferring Gratification
The idea of deferring gratification is quite simple; you resist an immediate reward now to obtain a more significant reward later.
When you practice deferred gratification, you cultivate willpower, which may help you create a positive habit of restraint. The most common way to defer gratification is by setting long-term goals, but it’s also possible to follow smaller steps daily to reach a bigger goal.
For example, instead of immediately binging on junk food, hold off until the weekend, or instead of buying that expensive item you covet, prioritize saving for a goal you set.
3. Displacing Desires
This approach suggests that you should trade the negative cravings with positive ones. If you’re trying to quit smoking, for example, you could take a thirty-minute walk every time you feel the urge to have a cigarette.
This method works best if you find a positive substitute for your addiction that’s also goal-oriented and energizing.
4. Psychological Reversal
Psychological reversal suggests that flipping your thoughts can help change your behavior. If you experience an intense urge, try telling yourself that you’re not interested, or that you don’t want whatever it is you’re craving.
Additionally, you could repeat positive affirmations, like “I am calm and at peace,” or “I am in control of my thoughts.” This technique can help you replace negative thoughts with positive ones and shift your perspective.
5. Finding a Sense of Purpose
Oftentimes, people indulge in excessive behavior when they feel that their life isn’t fulfilling, and they need an escape or some instant gratification. This is where finding a sense of purpose comes in.
People with a sense of purpose have a more significant understanding of who they are, what they want, and what they’re passionate about. If you lack a sense of purpose, start by identifying your values, beliefs, and skills. Think about what makes you feel fulfilled and bring that into your life, even if it’s just a bit at a time.
6. Exposure Therapy
Exposure therapy is an approach that promotes repeated and gradual exposure to your desires in moderation to tame them. It works well for people who need to work through their cravings rather than avoid them.
If you’re trying to eat healthier, for example, expose yourself to the individual food groups you’re avoiding in small portions every couple of days. Doing this will help you to tolerate the foods that make you feel uneasy slowly, which will, in turn, reduce any anxiety or thoughts of restriction around them.
Conclusion
While each of these strategies appears to be contradictory, their effectiveness depends on the individual and the situation. Over time, you can create a personalized approach using a combination of these strategies.
Eliminating desire isn’t always realistic or desirable, but finding a balance is key to improving your life, maintaining your self-control, and ultimately achieving lasting happiness.