When it comes to pursuing romantic relationships or friendships, we often encounter situations where the other person seems to be intentionally making it difficult for us to connect with them.

They might send mixed signals, play hard to get, or create obstacles that prevent us from getting closer. While some people may genuinely be unsure of their feelings or have other reasons for behaving this way, others deliberately make it challenging to pursue them.

Spotting this behavior can save us from wasting our time and emotional energy on someone who isn’t genuinely interested. In this article, we will explore some common signs that someone is intentionally making it difficult to pursue them.

Mixed Signals

Sending mixed signals is one of the most prominent signs that someone is intentionally making it difficult to pursue them. They might show interest one moment and then distance themselves the next.

This inconsistency gets you caught in a cycle of uncertainty, leaving you confused about the other person’s true intentions and desires. Psychologists suggest that individuals who engage in this behavior often enjoy the feeling of being desired, but they are not necessarily interested in building a meaningful connection.

Playing Hard to Get

Playing hard to get is another classic tactic used by individuals who want to make it difficult for others to pursue them.

They might actively avoid your calls or messages, take a long time to respond, or cancel plans at the last minute without a reasonable excuse. This behavior can create a sense of urgency and desire in the pursuer, making them work harder to get the attention and approval they seek.

However, it’s essential to remember that someone who constantly plays hard to get may not be genuinely interested in a relationship or friendship.

Creating Unnecessary Obstacles

People who intentionally make it challenging to pursue them might create unnecessary obstacles along the way. They may set strict conditions or expectations that must be met before they are willing to commit or open up emotionally.

These obstacles could be arbitrary or unrelated to the actual potential for a meaningful connection. For example, someone might insist on vague and undefined “tests” or require their pursuer to jump through hoops to prove their love or dedication.

This behavior is often an indication of someone who enjoys the power and control they have over the pursuer.

Showing Interest, But Never Taking Action

An individual who constantly shows interest but never takes any action to move the relationship forward is likely intentionally making it difficult to pursue them.

They may shower you with compliments and affectionate gestures, yet when it comes to making concrete plans or committing, they always seem to find an excuse or evade the discussion altogether. This behavior allows them to maintain the upper hand and keep the pursuer hooked without having to invest time or effort into the relationship.

Keeping You at Arm’s Length

If someone keeps you at arm’s length, always maintaining a certain distance, it may be a red flag that they are intentionally making it difficult for you to pursue them.

They might enjoy the attention and affection you give them without reciprocating it fully. This behavior gives them the power to control the pace and intensity of the relationship while keeping you in a state of constant uncertainty and longing.

Playing Mind Games

Individuals who intentionally make it difficult to pursue them often excel at playing mind games. They may manipulate your emotions, create drama and chaos, or even try to make you jealous.

Mind games allow them to establish a sense of power and control over you, keeping you on your toes and making it harder for you to see the truth behind their intentions. Recognizing these mind games can help you break free from their grip and move on to healthier relationships.

Frequent Cancellations or Rescheduling

If someone frequently cancels plans or reschedules at the last minute without a valid reason, it can be a sign that they are intentionally making it difficult for you to pursue them.

They may give you just enough hope by making plans, but their consistent cancellations prevent the relationship from progressing. This behavior can leave you feeling frustrated, questioning your own worth, and investing unnecessary time and energy into something that may never materialize.

Emotional Unavailability

Emotionally unavailable individuals often make it difficult for others to pursue them. They may have walls up, be unwilling to discuss their feelings or past relationships, and avoid any deep or meaningful conversations.

This emotional unavailability can leave you feeling unsatisfied and constantly craving for more, while the other person remains distant and detached. Recognizing emotional unavailability is crucial for your own emotional well-being and saves you from investing in a relationship that will ultimately leave you unfulfilled.

Refusing to Define the Relationship

People who intentionally make it difficult to pursue them often refuse to define the relationship or create clarity about their intentions. They might deflect questions about commitment or avoid discussing the future.

By keeping the relationship ambiguous, they can maintain control and prevent themselves from being held accountable. This uncertainty can keep you hooked and hopeful, even though the chances of a genuine, long-lasting connection may be slim.

Withholding Affection and Validation

Intentionally withholding affection and validation is a common tactic used by individuals who want to make it difficult for others to pursue them. They might be hot and cold, only giving you attention when it suits them.

This behavior keeps you constantly craving their approval and validation, making you work harder to gain their affection. However, it’s important to recognize that healthy relationships require mutual affection and validation, and someone who consistently withholds these essentials may not be worth pursuing.

Maintaining a Mysterious Persona

Some individuals intentionally maintain a mysterious persona to make it difficult for others to pursue them. They may share limited personal information or keep parts of their life hidden.

While it’s natural for people to have some privacy, excessive secrecy can hinder the development of a genuine connection. If someone consistently refuses to let you in, it may be a sign that they are intentionally making it challenging for you to pursue them.

Throughout our pursuit of relationships and friendships, it’s important to be able to recognize when someone is intentionally making it difficult for us to connect with them.

The signs mentioned above can help us identify these behaviors and save ourselves from investing time and emotional energy in someone who may not be genuinely interested. Remember, healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, open communication, and a willingness to invest in the connection.

It’s essential to prioritize our own emotional well-being and pursue relationships with people who reciprocate our efforts and feelings.