When we think about cheating, we usually imagine a blatant breach of trust. Someone kissing or having sex with someone who isn’t their partner.

But what about behaviors that fall just short of cheating? These “micro-cheating” actions may seem innocent, but they can still erode the trust and intimacy in a relationship.

What is Micro-Cheating?

Micro-cheating refers to behaviors that may not technically be considered cheating, but still undermine a relationship. These behaviors blur the line between friendship and infidelity, and can include:.

Flirting with someone outside of your relationship
Keeping secrets from your partner
Liking, commenting on, or messaging an ex’s social media posts
Engaging in emotionally intimate conversations with someone who is not your partner
Complimenting someone on their appearance in a way that suggests attraction
Frequently checking someone’s social media page
Keeping your options open by texting or messaging someone you’re interested in, but not committing to meeting up
Deleting texts, emails, or social media messages to hide them from your partner
Keeping a dating app on your phone or using it to “window shop” without actually meeting anyone

Why Micro-Cheating is a Problem

While these behaviors may not involve physical infidelity, they can still cause harm in a relationship. Here’s why:.

The Deception is Hurtful

Even seemingly small lies or omissions can erode trust between partners. If you’re hiding something or engaging in secret behavior, your partner may feel like they don’t really know you.

This can damage the emotional intimacy in your relationship.

It Undermines Commitment

When someone is micro-cheating, they’re keeping their options open. They’re not fully committed to their partner, and may be looking for someone “better.” This attitude can make it harder to build a strong, lasting relationship.

It Trivializes the Relationship

By engaging in behaviors that are almost-but-not-really cheating, you’re sending the message that your relationship isn’t that important. This can be hurtful to your partner, who may feel like they’re not valued or respected.

How to Avoid Micro-Cheating

If you want to build a strong, healthy relationship, it’s important to avoid behaviors that fall into the micro-cheating category. Here are some tips:.

Be Honest

The best way to avoid deception in your relationship is to be honest with your partner. If you’re feeling attracted to someone else, tell your partner. If you’ve been engaging in micro-cheating behaviors, come clean.

Honesty can be difficult, but it’s necessary for building trust.

Set Boundaries

Talk to your partner about what behaviors you consider to be inappropriate in your relationship. If you’re not sure if something counts as micro-cheating, ask! Setting clear boundaries can help you both feel more secure in your relationship.

Focus on Intimacy

One of the reasons people engage in micro-cheating is that they feel like something is missing in their relationship. To avoid this, focus on building intimacy with your partner.

Spend quality time together, share your thoughts and feelings, and be present in your relationship.

Avoid Temptation

Finally, it can be helpful to avoid situations or people that could tempt you to engage in micro-cheating behaviors.

If you know that hanging out with a certain friend makes you more likely to flirt with others, for example, try to limit your time with that person. If you’re tempted to check an ex’s social media profile, take a break from social media altogether.

The Bottom Line

Micro-cheating may seem harmless, but it can have a big impact on your relationship. By being honest, setting boundaries, focusing on intimacy, and avoiding temptation, you can build a stronger and more fulfilling relationship with your partner.