When it comes to infidelity, the age-old saying “once a cheater, always a cheater” has been widely quoted and debated.
There are people who believe that someone who has cheated in the past is likely to cheat again, while others think that it is unfair to make such a sweeping statement. In this article, we will examine both sides of the argument and look at scientific studies to determine whether this adage is a fact or fiction.
Why People Cheat?
Cheating involves breaking a promise or vow that you have made to your partner to be faithful. Infidelity is all too common but there is no single reason why people cheat. Some reasons are extrinsic while others are intrinsic.
Extrinsically, people may cheat because of lack of emotional or physical intimacy, boredom, peer pressure, or an abusive relationship. Intrinsically, cheating is an escape from personal problems or a form of self-validation. Some studies suggest that cheaters are more likely to suffer from insecurities, lack of self-esteem or trust issues.
Can People Change?
Before we answer this question, we must first address whether someone’s past behavior is indicative of future actions. Many people argue that if a person has cheated once, then he or she is likely to repeat the behavior.
This idea is based on the assumption that cheating is a personality flaw that is difficult to change. However, research studies indicate that people can change and are capable of learning from their past mistakes. Therefore, while past behavior may inform an individual’s likelihood to repeat the offense, it is not determinative of the outcome.
What about Serial Cheaters?
While it is true that people cheat for different reasons, there are some who cheat habitually. These people, known as serial cheaters, have a pattern of cheating in most of their relationships.
According to research, 22% of men and 13% of women have had sex outside their relationships, indicating that infidelity is not uncommon. Nevertheless, the frequency of infidelity does not imply that someone is incapable of changing their behavior.
The Role of Forgiveness
Forgiveness is an essential component of any relationship. When a partner cheats, it is natural to feel betrayed, hurt and deeply angry. However, forgiveness is not an automatic step in the healing process.
It is a conscious decision that involves granting a pardon and moving forward. Without forgiveness, the relationship is unlikely to survive. According to studies, forgiveness plays a vital role in healing the emotional wounds caused by infidelity and allowing couples to move forward.
Rebuilding Trust in the Relationship
Infidelity destroys trust, which is the foundation of any relationship. When a relationship experiences cheating, rebuilding trust is of utmost importance.
Trust can be regained, but it requires effort and a willingness to invest time in repairing the relationship. Trust-building activities include opening up honest communication channels, seeking professional counseling, and being accountable for one’s actions.
By taking small, constructive steps, couples who have experienced cheating can rebuild their relationship and strengthen their bond.
Conclusion
Based on the available literature, one cannot conclude that “once a cheater, always a cheater” is an absolute reality. While past behavior is informative about future actions, it does not foretell the future entirely.
People have the capacity to change their behavior and break the cycle of infidelity. Healing the emotional wounds of cheating requires effort, time and commitment from both partners. While it is crucial to be cautious about potential cheaters, it is equally important to not limit someone based solely on their past behavior.