The birth of a child changes a lot of things in a relationship, including your sex life. The lack of time, energy, and hormonal changes can all play a role in reducing your libido or making sex less enjoyable.

However, with some understanding, communication, and effort, you can find ways to improve your sexual intimacy after having a baby.

1. Don’t Rush Back into Sex

The first thing to remember is that you don’t have to rush back into sex after giving birth. Your body needs time to heal, and your mind may need time to adjust to the new role of being a mother.

It’s essential to listen to your body and not feel pressured by societal norms or your partner’s expectations.

You may feel pain, discomfort, or lack of desire for a while, and that’s normal. Take the time you need to recover and adjust, and communicate with your partner so that they understand and support you in your journey.

2. Try Different Positions

After giving birth, your body may feel different, and some positions that you used to enjoy may not work for you anymore, at least for a while. Experiment with different positions and find what feels comfortable and pleasurable for you.

You may need to avoid positions that put pressure on your perineum or breasts, or that require too much physical effort.

Some positions that may work well after having a baby include:

The missionary position with a pillow under your hips for support
The spooning position, which allows both partners to relax
The side-by-side position, which can be intimate and comfortable
The woman-on-top position, which gives you more control and can reduce discomfort

Don’t be afraid to try new things and communicate with your partner about what feels good or not.

3. Use Lubricants and Moisturizers

Postpartum hormonal changes and breastfeeding can affect your vaginal lubrication and make sex uncomfortable or painful. Using a water-based lubricant or vaginal moisturizer can help reduce friction and increase comfort during sex.

You can apply a lubricant directly to your genital area or to your partner’s penis or sex toy. Some lubricants also offer additional sensations or flavors that can enhance your sexual experience.

Make sure to choose a quality product that is safe for you and your partner and avoid oil-based lubricants that can damage condoms or toys.

4. Communicate with Your Partner

Communication is key to a healthy and fulfilling sex life, especially after having a baby. Talk openly with your partner about your needs, desires, and concerns, and listen to their perspectives as well.

Make sure to choose a time and place where you both feel comfortable and relaxed, and avoid blaming or shaming language.

You may need to schedule sex time or integrate it into your daily routine, especially if you have a newborn or other children who require your attention.

Make sure to prioritize your intimacy and make it a part of your relationship, even if it means saying no to other activities or responsibilities.

5. Explore Sensual Touch and Foreplay

Postpartum hormonal changes and stress can affect your ability to relax and enjoy sex. Exploring sensual touch and foreplay can help you reconnect with your body and your partner and increase your arousal and pleasure.

You may try gentle massages, kissing, cuddling, or oral sex as a way to warm up and build anticipation for sex. Don’t rush through the foreplay and savor every touch and sensation.

You can also use sex toys or other props to add variety and excitement to your foreplay.

6. Take Care of Your Health and Wellbeing

Your general health and wellbeing can affect your libido and sexual performance. Taking care of yourself can help you feel more confident, relaxed, and energized, and increase your desire for sex.

Some ways to take care of your health and wellbeing include:.

Eating a balanced and nutritious diet
Exercising regularly, even if it’s just a short walk
Getting enough sleep and rest, whenever possible
Reducing stress through mindfulness, relaxation exercises, or therapy
Seeking medical or psychological help if you experience any postpartum complications or mood disorders

7. Be Patient and Compassionate with Yourself

Lastly, remember to be patient and compassionate with yourself and your partner. Having a baby is a significant life change, and it can take time to adjust to the new roles, responsibilities, and challenges.

You may face setbacks, misunderstandings, or changes in your sexual desires and preferences, and that’s okay.

Try to maintain a positive and respectful attitude towards yourself and your partner, and celebrate your successes and joys together. Remember that sex is not just about intercourse or orgasm but about intimacy, connection, and pleasure.

Use your creativity, curiosity, and willingness to explore new things, and enjoy the journey of making sex better after having a baby.