With the rising acceptance and promotion of the LGBTQ+ community, it’s no surprise that more and more people are becoming vocal about their sexual identities.
One such identity is demisexuality, which is lesser-known and is often misunderstood by the larger society. In this article, we’ll delve into what it means to be demisexual, some misconceptions about it, and how demisexuality is not just a “phase” or “not real.”.
What is Demisexuality?
Demisexuality is a sexual identity or orientation that falls under the asexual spectrum. A person who identifies as demisexual experiences sexual attraction only to people they’ve formed a strong emotional bond or deep connection with.
This bond or connection could be romantic but not necessarily. Demisexual individuals may or may not experience sexual attraction or desires before forming such a bond, and they often find that sexual desires are less important than emotional intimacy or the connection they have with someone.
Understanding the Spectrum: Graysexuality, Asexuality, and Demisexuality
Like many other sexual identities, the asexual spectrum is diverse and fluid. The confusion often lies in understanding what differentiates one from the other.
To help grasp the differences, it’s essential to know that asexuality is an orientation where an individual does not experience sexual attraction to anyone, regardless of gender or relationship.
Greysexuality, on the other hand, falls in between asexuality and allosexuality, where a person experiences sexual attraction only sometimes or under certain conditions, experiences them less often than others do, or experiences them as weaker than most people do.
Demisexuality falls under greysexual, as individuals experience sexual attraction under certain conditions, which is the formation of an emotional bond or connection.
Common Myths about Demisexuality
Like many sexual identities that deviate from the mainstream, demisexuality is often surrounded by many myths, misconceptions, and misunderstandings. Here are a few common myths about demisexuality that need to be debunked:.
Myth: Demisexuality is a new trend
This claim is often made by people who dismiss non-heterosexual or non-cisgender individuals as wanting attention or following the latest social trend.
However, demisexuality is not a new concept; it has been around as long as heterosexuality, homosexuality, or any other orientation. The visibility and awareness of demisexuality have only increased through communication online and more understanding of diverse sexual identities.
Myth: Demisexuals don’t have sexual feelings
Just like any other sexual orientation or identity, demisexual people have complex and nuanced feelings about sexuality.
Demisexuality is about experiencing sexual attraction only in certain circumstances, and that doesn’t equate to a lack of sexual desires or feelings. Demisexual individuals may still masturbate and feel sexual desires, but these desires are less common or probable.
Myth: Demisexuals are prudes
This myth paints demisexual individuals as being less sexual or uninterested in sex, which is often not true. Demisexual individuals may have a nuanced relationship with their sexuality, but that doesn’t mean they are prudish or conservative.
A demisexual person may be just as comfortable with sex as any other sexual orientation, given they’ve formed an emotional bond with someone.
Myth: Demisexuality is a phase or a psychological issue
This myth is often used to dismiss or invalidate the experience of demisexual individuals. Demisexuality is a genuine sexual orientation that is not a phase or a psychological issue.
Demisexual people are aware of their feelings and who they’re emotionally attracted to, and dismissing it as a phase or a psychological issue can be damaging and harmful.
Conclusion
Demisexuality is a lesser-known sexual orientation that deserves more recognition and understanding. It’s an essential aspect of the asexual spectrum, and it’s crucial to understand that not everyone experiences sexuality the same way.
By debunking some common myths associated with demisexuality, we can better acknowledge and accept people who identify as demisexual.