Relationships are a crucial part of our lives. There are people we choose to love, trust and spend time with. But sometimes we might find ourselves in a toxic relationship, where instead of feeling happy and cared for, we feel drained and unhappy.
The problem with toxic relationships is that they can often feel very enticing.
What is a toxic relationship?
A toxic relationship is a relationship that is emotionally or mentally damaging. Both partners might feel unhappy, unsafe, or feel like they need to change who they are.
Toxic relationships can arise from many things, such as a lack of communication, excessive jealousy, or even an abusive partner. It can often be hard to recognize when we’re in a toxic relationship, especially if we’re used to being in them.
People tend to normalize their pain and feel like it’s just a part of love or that it’s their duty to make the relationship work.
The allure of toxic relationships
Even though toxic relationships are bad for our well-being, we find ourselves drawn to them. This is because the allure of toxic relationships comes from our childhood and past experiences.
Most of the time, people who end up in toxic relationships have a certain emotional profile.
Familiarity
We are drawn to what is familiar to us. If we grew up in a family where there was emotional or physical abuse, we might end up seeking partners who treat us similarly. It can feel like our “normal,” even though it’s dysfunctional.
Familiarity and comfort can be a significant motivation for people to stay in a toxic relationship, even when they know it’s not good for them.
Low self-esteem
People with low self-esteem might get attracted to toxic relationships because they don’t believe they deserve anything better. They might feel like they’re lucky to have anyone at all.
A toxic partner can take advantage of this low self-esteem and make the person feel like they’re the only one who would ever love them.
Romanticization of pain
Society glamorizes pain and suffering when it comes to relationships. We see it in movies, TV shows, books, and music. People are taught to believe that the more pain you go through, the greater the love outcome.
This mentality is dangerous because it can make people feel like they need to put up with toxic behavior for the sake of love.
What can you do?
If you recognize yourself in any of the above points, you might be in a toxic relationship. The first step is to recognize that you deserve to be happy and safe in your relationship. If you’re unhappy, it’s time to take action.
Set boundaries
You don’t have to accept any behavior that makes you feel uncomfortable or unsafe. If your partner is crossing any of your boundaries, it’s time to have an honest conversation about it.
Set clear boundaries in advance so you can tell when your partner has gone too far.
Seek professional help
If you feel like your emotional well-being is at risk, seek professional help from a therapist. A therapist can help you understand why you are drawn to toxic relationships and how to break the cycle.
Put yourself first
Putting yourself first is vital in any relationship. You deserve to be loved and cared for, and if your partner isn’t fulfilling those needs, it’s time to move on.
It might not be easy, but in the long run, you’ll be grateful for prioritizing your well-being.
Maintain a support system
A support system is significant, especially if you’re trying to get out of a toxic relationship. Lean on your friends and family when you’re struggling. They will be there to support you in your journey.
Conclusion
Overall, toxic relationships can be incredibly damaging, both mentally and physically. If you recognize yourself in the above points, it’s essential to take action and prioritize your well-being.
Recognize that you deserve to be happy and safe in your relationships. Seek professional help, set boundaries, and put yourself first. It might be challenging, but ultimately it’s worth it.