Happiness is a word that means different things to different people. Some believe it is an emotion, while others think of it as a state of being.

Regardless of how one defines it, people generally agree that they want it and that they want to be able to control it. But can we truly control our happiness? Let’s investigate.

The Nature of Happiness

An emotion is typically defined as a feeling that is experienced in response to a specific event or stimulus. Happiness, as an emotion, fits this definition in some sense.

For example, if you win a prize or get a promotion, you might be happy because of that specific circumstance. However, happiness can also describe a general mood or disposition. You might consider yourself a happy person overall, despite experiencing difficulties at times, or vice versa.

Some research suggests that a significant portion of our happiness level is determined by our genetics. In other words, some people might be predisposed to being happier than others, based on their biological makeup.

Other factors that can influence happiness include life circumstances, personal experiences, relationships, and societal expectations. It’s worth noting that happiness is a complex phenomenon that researchers are still trying to understand fully.

The Role of Control in Happiness

So, given all of these variables, what role does control play in happiness? On the one hand, there are certainly things that we can control to some extent that can impact our happiness.

For example, taking care of our physical health, investing in meaningful relationships, and pursuing activities that bring us joy could all contribute to our overall sense of joy and contentment. Similarly, engaging in practices like mindfulness or gratitude can foster a more positive mindset and help us feel happier in the moment.

However, there are also many aspects of our lives that are beyond our control. Life is unpredictable, and it’s impossible to predict what will happen next.

We might lose a loved one, face a health crisis, or experience other setbacks that are entirely out of our hands. In these situations, it’s less clear how much control we have over our happiness. We might be able to influence our reaction to these events, but that’s not the same as controlling the events themselves or their impact on us.

The Illusion of Control

Moreover, psychologists have suggested that our sense of control over our happiness might be something of an illusion. Research has shown that people tend to overestimate how much control they have in general, even in situations where they have none.

For example, people might think that they can control their health outcomes entirely by eating a particular diet or following a specific exercise regimen. While those behaviors are essential for good health, they can’t guarantee that we won’t get sick or develop a chronic condition.

Similarly, in the pursuit of happiness, we might try to control our circumstances or our emotional responses in ways that aren’t entirely realistic or healthy.

For example, we might tell ourselves that we should be happy all the time, or that we should be able to overcome any obstacle with the right attitude. While those ideas are admirable, they’re also somewhat unrealistic, and they could lead us to feel even more unhappy or dissatisfied.

Sometimes, it’s necessary to accept our limitations and recognize that not everything is within our control.

The Importance of Acceptance

That said, accepting that we can’t control everything doesn’t mean we should give up on happiness or stop trying to cultivate it. Instead, it might mean adjusting our expectations and adopting a more flexible mindset.

Rather than aiming for constant bliss, we might aim for a general sense of contentment and satisfaction. We might explore new hobbies, seek out social connections, or practice gratitude or mindfulness to boost our happiness in small ways.

We might also seek out professional help or support if we’re struggling with a mental health issue that’s affecting our mood.

At the same time, it’s worth recognizing that life is full of ups and downs, and we can’t avoid all negative experiences.

Sometimes, the healthiest way to cope with those experiences is simply to accept them, rather than trying to control or avoid them. We might acknowledge our feelings of sadness, anger, or frustration and allow ourselves to experience them, rather than trying to push them away or pretending they don’t exist.

Paradoxically, by accepting our negative emotions, we might find it easier to move through them and return to a more positive state of mind.

Conclusion

So, is happiness something we can control? The answer, as is so often the case, is both yes and no.

There are certainly things we can do to influence our happiness levels, such as taking care of ourselves and engaging in healthy habits, but there are also many factors that are outside of our control, such as genetics and life circumstances. Moreover, our sense of control itself might be somewhat illusory, and we might benefit from embracing a more flexible and accepting mindset when it comes to happiness.

Ultimately, it’s up to us to decide how much effort we want to put into cultivating our happiness, and how we want to approach the inevitability of life’s challenges and setbacks.