Have you ever felt like you can never win your mom’s approval no matter what you do? Do you try your best to please her, but it always falls short? You are not alone.
Many people struggle with feeling the acceptance and validation they crave from their mothers.
It is important to understand that every person has different ways of expressing love and affection. This is called the Love Hierarchy.
Once you understand the Love Hierarchy of your mom, you can build a relationship that is more fulfilling and satisfying.
: The Five Love Languages
The concept of the love hierarchy was first introduced by Dr. Gary Chapman in his book, ‘The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts.’ According to Dr. Chapman, there are five primary ways that people express and experience love.
These are:.
: 1. Words of Affirmation
Words of affirmation refer to verbal expressions of love, appreciation, and encouragement.
If your mom’s love language is words of affirmation, she might constantly tell you how proud she is of you, how much she loves you, and how much she values your presence in her life.
: 2. Acts of Service
Some people express love through actions rather than words. If your mom’s love language is acts of service, she may show her love through small gestures like cooking your favorite meal, doing your laundry, or running errands for you.
: 3. Receiving Gifts
For some people, love is expressed through gifts. If your mom’s love language is receiving gifts, she may shower you with presents to show her love and affection. It’s not about the value of the gift, but rather the thought that went into it.
: 4. Quality Time
Quality time refers to undivided, uninterrupted attention. If your mom’s love language is quality time, she may want to spend time doing activities together, talking, or simply spending time in each other’s company.
: 5. Physical Touch
Physical touch can range from a hug to holding hands. If your mom’s love language is physical touch, she may express her love through touch, and may crave physical affection from you, such as a hug or a kiss.
: How to Identify Your Mom’s Love Language
To identify your mom’s love language, observe her behavior and the ways she expresses affection. Pay attention to the things she complains about, or the things that make her the happiest.
You can also try asking her directly what makes her feel loved, and observe her response.
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It is important to remember that people can have more than one love language, and they may change over time. Your mom’s love language may also be influenced by her cultural background, upbringing, and personal preferences.
: How to Speak Your Mom’s Love Language
Once you have identified your mom’s love language, it’s time to start speaking it and showing her how much you care. Here are some ways to speak each love language to your mom:.
: 1. Words of Affirmation
– Write her a heartfelt thank you note, expressing your appreciation for all that she has done for you.
– Compliment her on her appearance, her cooking, or her personality. Let her know how much you admire her as a person.
: 2. Acts of Service
– Offer to help out with household chores, such as cooking, cleaning, or doing the laundry.
– Run errands for her, such as going to the grocery store, picking up dry cleaning, or taking her car for maintenance.
: 3. Receiving Gifts
– Surprise her with a small gift, such as a bouquet of flowers or her favorite snack.
– Make her something special, such as a photo album or a scrapbook, to show her how much you care.
: 4. Quality Time
– Set aside some time each week to spend with your mom, doing something that she enjoys. This could be going for a walk, watching a movie, or having a cup of coffee together.
– Put your phone aside and give her your undivided attention. Listen to her stories, ask questions, and show interest in her life.
: 5. Physical Touch
– Give your mom a hug or a kiss when you see her or leave.
– Offer her a shoulder massage or foot rub to help her relax after a long day.
: Conclusion
Understanding your mom’s Love Hierarchy can help you build a more meaningful, fulfilling relationship with her. By speaking her love language, you can show her how much you care and express your love and affection in a way that resonates with her.
Remember to pay attention to her behavior, and don’t be afraid to ask her what makes her feel loved. With time, effort, and patience, you can unlock the secret to your mom’s heart.
