It’s a fear that crosses every parent’s mind when they start becoming more sexually intimate with their partner: the possibility of their child accidentally walking in on them while they’re in the act.

Whether it’s a toddler or a teenager, the thought of a child witnessing their parents having sex is enough to make any parent cringe. It can be an uncomfortable situation for everyone involved, and many parents aren’t quite sure how to handle it.

1. Remain calm and composed

The first thing to keep in mind if your child catches you having sex is to stay calm and composed. It’s normal to feel embarrassed or guilty, but remember that you’re a grown adult and sex is a completely normal and healthy part of life.

Your child may be confused or alarmed by what they’ve seen, so it’s important to maintain a sense of calm and reassure them that everything is okay.

2. Stop immediately

When your child catches you having sex, the first thing you need to do is stop immediately. Pause everything and focus on your child’s needs first. Make sure they are comfortable and taken care of before addressing the situation.

3. Be honest and straightforward

It’s important to be honest and straightforward with your child about what they’ve seen. Explain to them that you and your partner were being intimate with each other, and that it’s completely normal for adults to have sex.

Be sure to use age-appropriate language, and avoid going into unnecessary detail.

4. Apologize and take responsibility

You may feel guilty or ashamed that your child has seen you having sex, but it’s important to take responsibility for your actions.

Apologize to your child for making them feel uncomfortable, and let them know that you understand why they might be upset or confused. Reassure them that it’s not their fault, and that you will do everything you can to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

5. Make sure your child is okay

After you’ve had a conversation with your child about what they’ve seen, it’s important to check in with them and make sure they’re okay.

Ask them if they have any questions or concerns, and let them know that they can come to you at any time if they need to talk about anything. It’s natural for children to feel awkward or embarrassed about the situation, so make sure to give them plenty of time and space to process their emotions.

6. Set boundaries

It’s important to set clear boundaries with your child after they’ve caught you having sex. Let them know that it’s not okay to walk in on you when the door is closed, and that they should always knock before entering your room.

Be sure to follow through on these boundaries, and enforce them consistently to prevent any further awkward situations.

7. Seek professional help if necessary

If your child seems particularly upset or traumatized by the situation, it may be helpful to seek professional help.

A therapist or counselor can help your child work through their feelings and emotions, and provide you with tips and strategies for addressing the situation in a healthy and constructive way.

8. Learn from the experience

Finally, you can use this experience as an opportunity to learn and grow as a parent. Reflect on why the situation occurred, and think about ways you can prevent it from happening again in the future.

Use the experience as a teaching moment, and have open and honest conversations with your child about sexual health and boundaries.

9. Don’t act like nothing happened

Ignoring the incident and hoping your child will forget about it is one of the worst things you can do. In most cases, your child will be thinking about what they saw for days, weeks, or even months afterward.

They may also be more curious about sex and sexuality in general, which means they will look to you for guidance.

10. Rebuild trust if lost

Your child may feel that you have betrayed their trust, especially if they feel that you were doing something inappropriate or harmful. Rebuilding trust will take time and effort, but it’s important to show your child that you’re willing to do the work.

Listen to their feelings and concerns, apologize if necessary, and work to establish healthy boundaries and communication.