Since its publication in 1936, ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’ by Dale Carnegie has become one of the most influential self-help books ever written.

Carnegie’s no-nonsense approach to human relations and practical advice have helped countless people improve their personal and professional interactions. Here are some surprising secrets revealed to help you win friends and influence people:.

1. Smile

Your smile is a powerful tool when it comes to making friends and influencing people. A genuine smile can put others at ease and convey warmth and friendliness.

According to Carnegie, “Actions speak louder than words, and a smile says, ‘I like you. You make me happy. I am glad to see you.'”.

2. Remember Names

People love the sound of their own name, so make an effort to remember and use names when you meet new people.

Carnegie notes that “a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” Repeating someone’s name during a conversation or in a follow-up email or letter can leave a lasting impression.

3. Take an Interest in Others

One of the keys to winning friends and influencing people is to show genuine interest in others. Ask questions, listen actively, and remember details about their lives.

Carnegie writes, “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”.

4. Speak in Terms of Other People’s Interests

When communicating with others, it’s important to frame your message in a way that resonates with their interests and priorities.

Carnegie advises, “Talk to people about themselves and they will listen for hours.” By understanding what motivates others, you can tailor your message to be more persuasive and influential.

5. Show Genuine Appreciation

Everyone wants to feel appreciated, and expressing gratitude is a powerful way to win friends and influence people. Be specific and sincere in your praise, whether it’s a compliment on a job well-done or a small gesture of kindness.

Carnegie reminds readers that “the only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.”.

6. Avoid Criticism and Confrontation

While it can be tempting to criticize or confront others, doing so can quickly damage relationships. Instead, focus on areas of agreement, be diplomatic, and seek common ground.

Carnegie advises, “The expression one wears on one’s face is far more important than the clothes one wears on one’s back.”.

7. Admit Faults and Mistakes

No one is perfect, and admitting faults and mistakes can actually make you more relatable and trustworthy. Carnegie writes, “When we are wrong, we may admit it to ourselves.

And if we are handled gently and tactfully, we may admit it to others and even take pride in our frankness and broad-mindedness.”.

8. Practice Empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. By putting yourself in someone else’s shoes, you can gain valuable insights and build stronger connections.

Carnegie notes that “we are interested in others when they are interested in us.”.

9. Be Enthusiastic

Enthusiasm is contagious, and showing genuine excitement and energy can help you win friends and influence people. Whether it’s a new project at work or a shared interest, enthusiasm can create a positive and engaging environment.

Carnegie advises, “Arouse in the other person an eager want.”.

10. Keep Learning and Growing

Finally, one of the greatest secrets to winning friends and influencing people is to always keep learning and growing. Seek out books, classes, and experiences that broaden your perspective and help you develop new skills.

As Carnegie writes, “The happiest people in the world are those who feel absolutely terrific about themselves, and this is the natural outgrowth of accepting total responsibility for every part of their life.”.

By following these surprising secrets, you can improve your personal and professional relationships, win friends, and influence people in a positive and meaningful way.