Relationships are complex, and often we do not realize when we are playing games with our partners. These games can take many forms, from passive-aggressive behavior to outright manipulation, and they can have a damaging impact on a relationship.

What Are Relationship Games?

Relationship games are patterns of behavior that people use to get what they want from their partners, without being direct or honest. They can be subtle, such as snide comments or eye-rolling, or they can be more overt, such as threats or ultimatums.

These games are often played to gain control over the relationship, or to avoid dealing with issues directly. People may also play games out of fear of rejection or vulnerability, or because they lack communication skills.

Common Relationship Games

There are many different relationship games, and they can take many different forms. Here are 5 of the most common ones:.

The Silent Treatment

The silent treatment is when one partner ignores the other, usually in response to an argument or disagreement. This game is often played to punish the other person, or to avoid dealing with the problem at hand.

It can be incredibly damaging to a relationship, as it prevents communication and resolution.

Manipulation

Manipulation can take many different forms, and it can be hard to spot. It can involve emotional blackmail, guilt-trips, or even gaslighting. Manipulative behavior is often used to gain control over the other person, or to get them to do what you want.

Passive-Aggressive Behavior

Passive-aggressive behavior is when someone expresses their anger or frustration indirectly, often through sarcasm, sulking, or procrastination.

This can be extremely frustrating to deal with, as the other person is not being direct about their feelings or intentions.

Jealousy

Jealousy is a common relationship game, and it can be incredibly damaging. It can involve accusations, possessiveness, or even physical violence. Jealousy is often a sign of insecurity or mistrust, and it can lead to the breakdown of a relationship.

Playing the Victim

Playing the victim is when someone casts themselves as the innocent party in a situation, even if they are at fault. This game is often played to gain sympathy, or to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.

It can be frustrating to deal with, as it prevents resolution and accountability.

Why Do People Play Relationship Games?

There are many reasons why people play relationship games. Here are some of the most common:.

Fear of Rejection

People may play games because they are afraid of being rejected by their partners. They may use manipulation, passive-aggressive behavior, or other tactics to avoid being vulnerable or honest.

Control

Relationship games can also be played to gain control over the other person. This can involve manipulation, jealousy, or other forms of emotional abuse.

Lack of Communication Skills

Some people may play games because they lack the communication skills to deal with issues directly. They may not know how to express their feelings or needs, and may resort to playing games instead.

Mistrust or Insecurity

Relationship games can also be a sign of mistrust or insecurity. People may play games because they feel threatened by their partners, or because they do not trust them.

How Can You Stop Playing Relationship Games?

Stopping relationship games takes work, but it is possible. Here are some steps you can take:.

Be Honest

The first step to stopping relationship games is to be honest with yourself and your partner. Admit that you are playing games, and acknowledge their impact on the relationship.

Communicate Directly

Instead of playing games, communicate directly with your partner. Be open and honest about your feelings, and address issues as they arise.

Practice Empathy

Try to see things from your partner’s perspective, and practice empathy. This can help you understand their feelings and needs, and can prevent misunderstandings or miscommunications.

Get Professional Help

If you are struggling to stop playing relationship games, consider seeking professional help. A therapist or counselor can help you identify the root of the problem, and can provide you with the tools and support you need to make lasting changes.

The Bottom Line

Playing relationship games can be damaging to your relationship, and can prevent true intimacy and connection.

By being honest, communicating directly, practicing empathy, and seeking professional help if needed, you can break free from these patterns and build a healthier, happier relationship.