When speaking to someone in a coercive situation, it’s important to choose your words carefully. Coercive situations are those in which a person is being forced, threatened, or pressured to do something against their will.

It could be anything from a romantic partner trying to control them to a trafficker forcing them into sex work. Whatever the situation may be, your words could have a major impact on the person’s safety and well-being.

Avoid Using Triggering Language

One of the most important things to avoid when speaking to someone in a coercive situation is triggering language. This could include phrases like:.

“Why don’t you just leave?”
“You’re letting them control you.”
“What did you do to make them act like this?”

These types of comments can be incredibly harmful to someone who is already feeling trapped and helpless. They suggest that the individual is somehow to blame for their situation, or that it’s their responsibility to fix things.

It’s also important to avoid phrases that imply judgment, such as:.

“I can’t believe you put up with this.”
“You’re making a huge mistake.”

It’s never helpful to make someone feel ashamed or criticized for their circumstances.

Use Empathetic, Non-Judgmental Language

To be truly helpful in a coercive situation, your language should be empathetic and non-judgmental. Use phrases like:.

“I’m here to support you.”
“I believe you.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“What do you need right now?”

These types of comments create a sense of safety and trust, and can help the person feel like they have someone to turn to. It’s also important to remind the person that you respect their autonomy and that they are the expert on their own life.

You might say something like:.

“You know what’s best for you.”
“I trust that you’ll make the right decision.”
“You have the power to decide what’s right for you.”

Remember that the person you’re speaking to is likely feeling incredibly vulnerable and scared. Your role is to offer them support and guidance without trying to control their choices.

Be Mindful of Safety Concerns

If you suspect that the person you’re speaking to is in immediate danger, it’s important to address safety concerns directly. You might say something like:.

“Are you safe right now?”
“Is there someone you can call for help?”
“Do you need me to contact the police?”

However, it’s important to remember that calling the police or other authorities may not always be the safest option for the person. This could further endanger them or cause them to lose trust in you.

It’s important to approach safety concerns in a way that doesn’t increase the person’s sense of helplessness or fear.

Avoid Making Promises You Can’t Keep

When speaking to someone in a coercive situation, it’s important to avoid making promises you can’t keep.

It can be tempting to offer solutions or make guarantees that you’ll be able to fix things, but this can be incredibly damaging if you’re not able to follow through. Instead, focus on offering emotional support and practical guidance where possible.

For example, you might say something like:.

“I can’t promise to fix everything, but I will be here for you every step of the way.”
“Let’s brainstorm some options together and see what feels right for you.”
“You’re not alone in this. We’ll figure out a plan together.”

By avoiding promises you can’t keep, you’re maintaining trust and avoiding further disappointment or disillusionment for the person you’re helping.

Address the Root Causes

Finally, when speaking to someone in a coercive situation, it’s important to address the root causes of their circumstances. This could involve exploring issues like power dynamics, trauma, or economic disadvantage.

By tackling the underlying factors that contribute to coercive situations, we can help create long-term solutions and prevent others from falling into similar situations.

Some helpful resources for addressing root causes might include:.

Therapy or counseling
Financial assistance or employment support
Legal help or advocacy
Community support groups

By addressing the root causes, we can help individuals find lasting solutions that empower them and allow them to move beyond their current situation.

Conclusion

When speaking to someone in a coercive situation, it’s important to be mindful of your words and the impact they can have.

By avoiding triggering language, offering empathetic support, addressing safety concerns, avoiding promises you can’t keep, and addressing root causes, we can help create a sense of safety and hope for those who are experiencing coercive situations.