Waiting for a date to happen can feel like an eternity. You swiped right, matched, and started talking—but nothing seems to be happening. What’s taking so long? Here are seven reasons you might still be waiting for that date.

1. You’re Not Putting Yourself Out There

If you’re hoping for a date to fall into your lap without any effort on your part, you’re going to be waiting a long time. Meeting someone new takes initiative and effort.

You need to put yourself out there—whether that means trying Tinder or other dating apps, attending social events, or just striking up conversations with people you find interesting.

2. You’re Too Picky

Having high standards is important—but being too picky can work against you. If you’re looking for someone who meets your exact specifications, you might be waiting a very long time.

Be open to meeting people who don’t check every box on your list—you might be surprised by who you hit it off with.

3. You’re Not Clear About What You Want

If you’re not clear about what you want in a relationship, it’s going to be hard for you to find someone who meets your needs.

Take some time to think about what you’re looking for—do you want a casual fling or a long-term commitment? Are you looking for someone who shares your interests or someone who challenges you in new ways? Once you know what you’re looking for, you’ll be better equipped to seek it out.

4. You’re Too Focused on Your “Type”

Having a “type” can be limiting. If you’re only interested in dating people who fit a certain mold, you could be missing out on great connections with people who don’t look or act like your usual love interests.

Try to be more open-minded and give people a chance—you might be surprised by how much you enjoy their company.

5. You’re Playing Hard to Get

Playing hard to get might work in some situations, but when it comes to dating, it can backfire. If you’re always unavailable or playing coy, the person you’re interested in might just assume you’re not interested.

Be clear about your feelings and intentions—this will help the other person feel more comfortable approaching you and making plans.

6. You’re Stuck in Your Comfort Zone

If you’re only going to the same places and doing the same things over and over again, you’re likely to keep meeting the same types of people. Shake things up and try something new. Join a club, take a class, or plan a trip.

When you step outside of your comfort zone, you open yourself up to new experiences and new people.

7. You’re Not Ready for a Relationship

If you’re not ready for a relationship, it’s going to be hard for you to find one. Before you start actively seeking a partner, make sure you’re emotionally available and ready to commit.

If you’re still healing from a past relationship or dealing with personal issues, it might be best to take a break from dating until you’re in a better place.