Adultery is something no one wants to experience or even hear about. However, the reality is that it happens and often, people go to great lengths to keep it hidden.
If you’ve found yourself falling into the temptation of infidelity, you must be careful as the consequences can be devastating. To help you, we’ve put together some useful tips on how to keep your adultery hidden.
Please note that we do not encourage or condone adultery. These are merely suggestions for those who have already found themselves in such situations.
1. Be Meticulous with your Communication
The key to an affair that remains hidden is to keep it strictly confidential. When communicating with your lover, don’t use your personal phone or email. Instead, opt for a burner phone or a private email address.
Ensure that all contact is deleted, so there’s no trail whatsoever. It’s also essential to set boundaries with your lover and make sure they understand that you have a life outside of your affair.
2. Choose your Infidelity partner Carefully
It’s essential to select a partner who has just as much to lose as you do. They should understand the risks of getting caught and should be just as careful with their communication as you are.
Be sure to choose someone who understands that it’s not a public relationship and that you don’t need to communicate beyond the necessary minimum to keep the relationship a secret.
3. Keep an Eye on your Finances
Financial records can often reveal secrets, so make sure to keep your finances separate.
Set up a new bank account, which your spouse and family members don’t have access to, and ensure that all the credit or debit card transactions are in your name. Don’t put any expenses related to your adulterous affair on your joint credit card, as your spouse can quickly pick up on something that doesn’t belong there.
Keep everything cash-based, and if you must make deposits into your new bank account, do so infrequently and discreetly.
4. Keep your Alibis in Place
Alibis are a critical part of keeping your affair a secret. Ensure that you keep your plans and schedules clear by always having an alibi.
It might be covering up your late-night rendezvous with a business trip, a visit to your parents, or a night out with colleagues. Make sure the alibi is carefully planned, and your spouse is aware of where you are supposed to be at all times, to keep your lie airtight.
5. Be Prepared for the Worst-Case Scenario
Despite your best efforts, it’s still possible that you’ll get caught. Therefore, it’s essential to prepare yourself should the worst happen. Keep evidence and communications, and prepare excuses ahead of time in case you get caught.
You might say that the communication was just friendship, or that the information was misinterpreted – whatever you do, be calm and collect when dealing with accusations.
6. Get Professional Help
In cases where the affair is becoming too much for you to handle and you’re feeling guilty or anxious, speak to a professional. Getting help from an expert can provide a confidential, safe space to talk about what’s going on.
They can offer support, advice, and guidance on how to deal with the emotional issues that come with having an affair.
7. End the Affair
The best way to keep a secret is to end it. An affair that is continued for a long time is likely to be discovered. If you want to keep your adultery hidden, end it and move on.
You might need to have a conversation with your infidelity partner about why you’re ending things, but ensure it’s done discreetly and without anyone else finding out.
8. Don’t Broadcast it
One of the biggest mistakes people make is bragging about their partners or advertising their infidelity on social media. Take note that the more people know about your affair, the higher the chance of you getting caught.
So keep it private, and don’t reveal anything about your partner or what’s going on in your life.
9. Keep your Guilt in Check
Infidelity can leave you feeling guilty, but it’s essential not to act upon it or allow it to affect your behavior. Being overly affectionate or extra-nice to your spouse may lead to suspicion, as well as clamming up or being aggressive.
Keep a calm and neutral demeanor. The less you obsess over feeling guilty, the easier it will be to act normal and maintain your secret.
10. Be Honest with Yourself
It’s important to be honest with yourself about what you’re doing and the potential risks. Ensure that you understand what you’re getting into and the potential consequences that come with it.
Once you know the risks, you can take steps to mitigate them. Being honest with yourself will go a long way in helping keep your adultery hidden and avoiding being discovered.
The Bottom Line
Keeping adultery hidden is difficult, but it is possible if done correctly.
Ensure that you’re careful with your communication, choose your partner carefully, keep finances separate, have alibis in place, prepare for the worst-case scenario, seek professional help, end the affair, don’t broadcast it, keep your guilt in check, and be honest with yourself.
If it’s becoming too much for you to bear or you’re feeling guilty, end the affair and seek help from a professional. Remember, the truth always has a way of coming out, so be careful and keep your adulterous affair under wraps.