Many couples enjoy watching porn together, or separately. But while some argue that pornography can be a healthy or normal part of any relationship, the reality is that porn can actually have some very harmful effects on couples.
Here are just a few of the ways that pornography can be damaging to relationships.
Decreased Intimacy
Pornography can create a culture of unrealistic and impossibly high sexual expectations. This can lead to a decrease in intimacy between couples, as one partner may feel inadequate or unable to live up to the expectations created by porn.
Pornography can also detract from the time and energy that couples might otherwise put into building intimacy, whether in the form of emotional intimacy or sexual intimacy. When couples turn to porn as a substitute for intimacy, it can create rifts in the relationship that may be difficult to repair.
Lowered Self-Esteem
Watching pornography can also have a negative impact on an individual’s self-esteem.
Seeing images of “perfect” bodies and sexual performances can create pressure to conform to these standards, leading to feelings of inadequacy or insecurity. This pressure can be even worse for women, who are often objectified or portrayed in degrading ways in porn.
When one partner in a relationship struggles with lowered self-esteem, this can lead to issues with communication, trust, and overall relationship satisfaction.
Increased Infidelity
While some may argue that watching porn is not the same as cheating, it can still be damaging to relationships.
One study found that frequent porn users were more likely to engage in infidelity and other forms of sexual risk-taking than those who did not watch porn. This can lead to serious trust issues within a relationship, and can even pave the way for affairs or other forms of infidelity.
Sexual Dysfunction
Watching too much porn can also have physical consequences that can damage a relationship. One study found a link between excessive porn use and sexual dysfunction, including the inability to achieve an erection or achieve orgasm.
When one partner experiences sexual dysfunction due to porn use, it can create tension and frustration within the relationship, leading to further issues with intimacy and trust.
Increased Aggression and Violence
Pornography can also be violent or aggressive in nature, depicting sexual acts that can be harmful or disturbing.
Exposure to this kind of porn has been linked to increased aggression and violence against women, as well as overall desensitization to violence. When one partner in a relationship is exposed to this kind of porn, it can have a negative impact on both their emotional and physical well-being, and can create a toxic or even abusive environment within the relationship.
Difficulty with Recovery
Finally, it is worth noting that recovering from pornography addiction, whether on an individual basis or as a couple, can be extremely difficult.
Pornography can be incredibly addictive, and those who struggle with this addiction often experience intense cravings or withdrawal symptoms when attempting to quit. This can make it difficult for couples to move past the negative effects of pornography and repair their relationships, leading to ongoing issues with trust, intimacy, and communication.
The Bottom Line
While it is true that pornography can be a normal or healthy part of some relationships, the risks associated with excessive use or addiction are significant.
From decreased intimacy to increased infidelity, the harmful effects of pornography on couples are backed by science. Couples who want to build healthy, loving, and fulfilling relationships must take steps to avoid the traps of pornography and recognize the negative impacts it can have on their lives.
