Effective communication is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship. However, even with good intentions, it can be challenging for couples to come to a resolution during a verbal exchange.

Often, there are unconscious roadblocks that prevent a couple from reaching a conclusive dialogue. In this article, we will explore these roadblocks and their underlying causes. Understanding such obstacles can help couples identify them and work towards more productive communication.

What are Roadblocks?

Roadblocks are essentially obstacles to effective communication. These obstacles can manifest in various ways, and sometimes they are subtle and challenging to detect. Examples of common roadblocks include:.

Interrupting one another
Being defensive
Blaming one another
Bringing up the past
Ignoring the speaker

While these roadblocks may seem minor, they can escalate quickly, leading to additional communication breakdowns. It’s essential to understand the roots of these obstacles to address them effectively.

Causes of Unconscious Roadblocks

Unconscious roadblocks are precisely what they sound like—blocks that occur at an unconscious level. They are often rooted in past experiences, beliefs, and personalities.

Understanding the roots of these obstacles is crucial for taking meaningful action to overcome them.

Past Experiences

Individuals often use past experiences as a framework for interpreting current interactions. If an individual experienced a situation as negative in the past, they may have a harder time viewing similar scenarios in a positive light.

For example, if an individual grew up in a home where their parents argued constantly, they may associate arguments with negative feelings. As a result, this individual may feel defensive or shut down during any future arguments, preventing effective communication with their partner.

Beliefs

Our beliefs shape how we view the world around us. For instance, some individuals believe that being vulnerable is a sign of weakness, making it more difficult for them to express themselves during disagreements.

Similarly, an individual with the belief that they must be perfect may struggle to admit fault during an argument, leading to defensiveness or blaming.

Personalities

A person’s personality can also contribute to unconscious roadblocks. For example, a highly assertive personality type may interrupt their partner frequently, hindering productive conversation.

On the other hand, somebody with a more passive personality may struggle with asserting themselves, leading to simmering resentment or, perhaps, eventually blowing up during an argument.

Overcoming Unconscious Roadblocks and Concluding Dialogue

There are various practical ways to overcome unconscious roadblocks and reach productive communication.

Recognizing the Roadblocks

The first step to overcoming unconscious roadblocks is recognizing them. Developing self-awareness can aid in identifying internal roadblocks, while open communication with your partner helps you identify external roadblocks, too.

Practice Active Listening

Active listening is key to overcoming communication roadblocks. Active listening means paying full attention to what your partner is saying and openly responding.

Responding indicates you understand what your partner is saying and can help them express their thoughts more clearly. Encourage your partner to complete their thoughts before responding and consider their perspective before responding yourself.

Consider Your Thoughts and Emotions

When examining your internal roadblocks, it’s vital to take an honest look at your thoughts and emotions.

Are you being defensive? Do you struggle to express yourself? Identifying how you are reacting internally is key to tackling unconscious roadblocks.

Use “I” Statements

Ditch the blame game and use “I” statements during communication with your partner. For instance, saying, “I feel unheard when you interrupt me” is more effective than, “You always interrupt me.”.

Take Breaks

Sometimes, it’s necessary to take a break during communication. If you find yourself becoming defensive or agitated, take a 10-minute break.

Use the time to reflect on the points raised during the discussion and think about how to move forward positively.

Conclusion

Unconscious roadblocks can hinder even the most well-intentioned couple’s communication. However, recognizing these roadblocks and understanding their underlying causes can aid in overcoming them.

Effective communication is vital for maintaining a healthy relationship. By adopting the techniques outlined in the article, couples can make progress in concluding dialogue and strengthening their bond.